like your voice and your western melodies that give me so much joy since 2008.

but i’m listening to something by the goys now. rock or gypsy music with oriental snake charmer hooks. it has to be, as long as i’m just a mortal.

now i hear the goy: miranda lambert- the house that built me.

i heard this in 2017 when i was in my mother’s newly acquired house on the adriatic sea in a small cozy place in croatia. i thought of the two years from 2003 to 2005 that i spent in my parents’ cursed house in offenbach, moving tons of sand and pouring tons of cement to get the house ready for sale, bringing my ffmi from 18 to 28. that still gave me useful services. later on. anyway, i thought of the first virgin who tortured me and ordered me to do all that. just so she could take the place of my goddess. be that as it may. the house where dark things and heinous things happened was sold. before haftbefehl the german rapper with his oriental drug dealers took over the neighborhood where the house stood. my parents made a nice profit. my mother bought the house by the sea. my father, the mobster, financed a cuckoo child in his second spring and finally died because his second love of life finished him off. financially and emotionally. i am not sad about it.

and i heard this song.

there was another song. when i swam in the sea again for the first time in 2018 and felt redeemed i listened to malibu by miley cyrus. and saw the tender advances of the female residents of the seaside town. you have to know that in 2012 after my violent outburst in frankfurt that freed me from the police and the gangs, i later went to the seaside town and was wild and looking for trouble and yelling at people. but no one ever called me to account for it. they just let me be. the man who spent his summers here as a little boy, with his bloody scar on his forehead. anyway in 2018 they sought my proximity because i was quite tame and went to the beach with my mother. but i rejected them.