I have a weakness for retro synth sounds, and, to my ear, the retro nature of your synth pads is both your song’s strength and its weakness. On the one hand, it’s got the kind of dynamic dancefloor feel that very early electro had, when people used things in the monophonic or little better range to build these kinds of things. On the other hand, because these kind of synth sounds are so familiar, they come to sound a little “easy”.
I enjoyed this, but I’d like to hear you do something more adventurous with your synths. That little keyboard line you have, for example, is a real breath of fresh air. If you’d made that the driving force of the melody, added more prominent minimalist techno beats, and added a break of some sort with an alternative pad, then the piece would seem a bit less cookie cutter. Still, it’s not at all a bad effort, and not a bad listen. Welcome to the mixter!

I would disagree with Gurdondark that it is “cookie cutter”. However, techinically speaking there are a few disjunctions with the piece that if fixed, would make it perfect. The synth sound is not really too retro… (there is no such thing imho), it’s just too loud in the mix, too dominating, and sort of out of place with the vocals. I can see what you are trying to do though, and it’s hip. I would try just nixing the synth altogether and doing the whole thing with just the piano thing. Also, add variations to the melody. The vocal part is too loud in the mix as well. The music needs to blend in with it…Mixing is a fine artform and if you do it right, you’ll never feel satisfied! However, the reverb, etc.. is great. I really like the drum patterns, though some increase in variation and complexity would do the piece well. Maybe drop in a counter rhythmic component.

I really liked the vocal sample… I am going to try and do a version myself tonight!