This is very promising, but the vocal part is just slightly out of tune.
I think if you take it down by something like .25 to half a step in frequency, it would greatly improve the sound.

Thanks for using my sample!

C.

The modernist tone to things interests me. The little keyboard passages are good. The percussion is a bit canned. The whole effect doesn’t quite work for me, although I don’t have a “big picture fix” to offer—it’s down the trail of fit and making the rest of the mix as dynamic as the vocal, and making the vocal work right in the early going. An intriguing mix, though.