This has things I like, and things I don’t like. I like the “found sound” intro, but it might fit better if it segued into a different piece.

I like the beats and the chill melody, but they don’t line up quite together. I really like that chill melody a lot, in fact, but then it doesn’t quite line up with the vocals.

I’d love to hear the chilled melody with a simpler, better-matched percussion, and leave the Braun sample for a different song.

I’d love to hear the “found sound” intro devoted to a more ambient piece, perhaps with samples from the Black Sun Laboratories or from shockshadow’s stuff, or some of that cool kaneda stuff.

This mix doesn’t quite fit, although the chilled melody is enough to mean that it’s not a bad mix.

I am the last person on earth to suggest that I know how to make a focused mix, as I rather enjoy noise and discord. But you have a lot of things that aren’t really noise or discord going here, but just really good ideas that don’t all work together.

But I think that your can put your ideas in the pursuit of a mix that’s less ambitious, and come out with something that works better.

Contsruct your track. Good solutions for good ideas. Temposync, arrange. Good Luck…