No pb. I’ll go to Embrun (french Alps) tomorrow till Sunday noon, and I won’t have any PC at all! So, take your time;-)
Just hope you’ll prefer this v3…

Thank you very much for enlightning me on your intention, as I kept wondering: how to make a break and avoid too linear a structure? But prehaps I should have started by asking the question in the first place…

English is not my native tongue, but I do understand the terms “refrain” (french word for chorus) and “bridge”. The latter, “pont” in french, is a fairly common word among musicians to describe a transition which leads to a change of tone, but not necessarily to the chorus/refrain. The bridge is usually instrumental only, but rules are made to stand exceptions, right?
Can you tell me, from your mp3, where the bridge stands (I know that what I have dont was wrong
For forgiveness I long I guess)?
And how do you want to proceed? I think I can improve in adding some tension/release in the music flow, by inserting a bridge as you say (muting the instruments, keeping just one below your voice, or adding some discordance in the chords, for instance).

Maybe it would be better if I send you the trial versions by mail, instead of crowding ccMixter with each intermediate attempt.
Your decision…
Mine is philippenowak@gmail.com and I have a (work in progress) web site: http://philnowak.net
It has some of my most recent songs, in french, and I can upload files you can retrieve only parts if you want to remix yourself from the rough material.
Even if I have a very attentive (and forgiving) reviewer, St Paul himself, providing wise advice from his cloud.
Any other solution welcome!
Thank you
Phil
PS: I won’t be here till Sunday noon FR time.

oh my gosh, it’s been like… over a year since you said this! I didn’t realize you’d replied till now (sorry). I would still like to check out the other ideas if you still have them (understandable if you dont. it’s been a while).

Yes, it’s been a while, as you say. A year and so where I had neither time nor energy/inspiration to play & write.
Strange you reply just NOW, kind of synchronicity with my own questioning on music and creativity in general…
Not sure if I’ll find the answer.
Thanks for your answer, a pleasure, even if late. As we say here : “better late than never” ;-)
Phil

Thank you very much for your critics (this word to be taken as a compliment in my mouth, as it helps progressing). Could you please develop a little bit on “vocals don’t cut through”? In which sense:
- they are not loud enough compared to the rest of the instruments, or
- delay is hiding them and confusing?
- the structure of the song is somehow too linear?
- the singer should post another version?
Sorry if I’m a little too much ‘feet stuck to the ground’ but I can see many meanings to your sentence I need to clarify.
Thanks
Phil