Welcome. A brave attempt but there’s just too much going on. I like the idea but the execution falls down a bit. I have to say the organ like sound on the beat (panned slightly right) did start to get on my nerves as its discordant with the guitar/sitar. As a breakdown section it would have been cool (ie dropping out the guitar/sitar and just having the keys n’ beat/percussion) but all the way through is a bit much.
Its worth planning out the tracks structure in your head first, even a traditional song structure works well as a template, you can always change it later and it gives you an idea of what should go where.
Don’t be afraid of the pan knob! Often syncopated lines ‘on top’ of each other don’t work, but panned L & R they will, for example the perc and guitar/sitar. If you give each line its own place in frequency, pan and position things start to make a lot more sense.
I’m sorry if i come across as a little severe, that is not my intention! If you can take well meant criticism your a long way towards being a great artist. Keep your nose to the beats and i look forward to hearing your next piece!

UBQ

please use ‘manage remixes’ to properly attribute all your uploads. That’s the rules here.

Thanks for using the samples! BTW, that’s an Irish bouzouki you’re hearing.