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Let's Have Safe Sex (improved Real Woman Mix)

uploaded: Thu, Sep 13, 2012 @ 2:39 PM last modified: Sat, Sep 22, 2012 @ 1:04 AM  (add)
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Sex is never far from The Blues – but this is egalitarian sex. Not a whiff of misogyny.
Nothing like my usual stuff, but then you never know who’ll you’ll be paired with & you have to get into the ccmixter spirit! A lot of Bigbonobo Combo’s stuff was already beautifully produced & I thought that any messing with it would’ve been ‘value-subtracting’. But I really liked the Barry White-cum-James Brown machismo/ bravado persona, so I took it on myself as Big Boner Beau to deliver a Public Health Announcement of a Sexual Nature.
It was all starting to sound just a bit too serious until I introduced the sassy assertive Bonee to ‘stick it to The Man’, so to speak. (Having no willing female collaborator, ‘she’ was, of necessity, ‘me’.)• STOP PRESS! See below!
I went back to the stems, fattened up Daniel Cambier’s very funky bass
& added Bigbonobo’s own sub-bass at the beginning.
Just a bit of fun, really, and a thin excuse for a lot of immature highschool condom puns. I enjoyed myself, anyway…

Thanks to Bigbonobo for the inspiration. I really dig the sax player Mauro Durão, too. He sounds a lot like Derek Pascoe in our band Max Mo back in Adelaide, South Australia.

• NEW! IMPROVED! Thanks to a Real Woman Benevolent Benefactor, I have replaced my synthetic helium-voiced faux-female with the voice of the genuine article. She wishes to remain anonymous - but I thank her profusely.

Let’s have safe sex.

I’m your big boner beau…

You want da boom boom? Ya come up to ma room room.
I’m not into purity, I need a bit of security.
I may be sleazy – but I ain’t easy.
Let’s get climactic with a prophylactic.

Bigbonobo: Ladies I’m talkin’ to you. All the ladies. If ya wanna have fun. I you wanna have a great time. Come on.

Big Boner Beau/ Bigbonobo:
Big Boner Beau says Peace. Peace. Big Boner Beau says Love. Big Boner Beau says Happiness. Big Boner Beau says Let’s have safe sex. And be happy.

I may be sleazy – but I ain’t easy.

You sexy girls can save the world
You gotta watch your health, look after yourself

Don’t get redactive – you gotta get proactive. Yeah.
Just tell him:


If you ain’t wearin’ –
I’m not ain’t sharin’

Don’t wanna get “clapped”
I take my sausage shrink-wrapped.

You can get boney
but leave the skin on the baloney.

I’ll take off my Playtex
if you put on a latex

Call me Gretel –
(I need my ’Ansell!)

Life’s for livin’ –
but the condom’s a given

I’ll come up to your condominium
but the condom’s a minimum

Put that cock in a sock

It’s a lovely erection
but where’s the protection?

Just wanna holdya
my Trojan soldier

I’ll take your Big Bubba
if he’s dressed in a rubber

I won’t take no whanger - ‘less it’s dressed in a franger*

Hey Superman,
put on your suit.

* ancient Aussie slang for ‘french letter.’ (Showing my age!)

"Let's Have Safe Sex (improved Real Woman Mix)"
by robwalkerpoet

2012 - Licensed under
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