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The Day God Got Evicted

uploaded: Fri, Aug 19, 2022 @ 10:25 AM

by	Radioontheshelf
Featuring	The Admiral
length	5:17
Recommends	Recommends (5)

I was out walking recently when infront of me on the other side of the road was a small crowd assembled outside an old church. I crossed over and asked some people what was happening. They informed me that it was a protest against the closure of the church. I was not sure if the people were part of the churchs normal congregation but they were a fine mix of protesters. An elderly couple were wearing matching home made sweaters with multicoloured bobble hats. Maybe this was some sought of penance as the temperature was nearly 80f. Nearbye stood a man dressed in a rubber sado masachist outfit. As I passed him he said something but it got lost behind the large zip that covered his mouth. Inside the church a priest in Nike trainers was consoling a young man and woman who had what appeared to be bloodstained cloths around their wrists. The priest assured me it was purely symbolic or at least that is what they had told him. God was still everywhere inside the priest confirmed. I assumed he was in a dark corner somewhere reading the eviction notice.

Many thanks to the Admiral for a wonderful vocal. I have taken the liberty to repitch and rephrase it so have a listen to the original.

At the back of the chapel near the fake evangelist
Sat the boy and the girl with bandages around their wrists
They were crying for attention lots of love and hope
They were damn near being successful
When they found they couldn’t cope
And the priest who offered coffee wore sports shoes on his feet

Outside a crowd had gathered they’d been notified and felt they had to come
A man dressed in a rubber suit was shouting but his words just left them numb
And a sailor who had come ashore was hoping for some pie
But like the Ancient Mariner all he got were sad goodbyes
It was not the way he’d planned it everything seemed now to fade

But in the church the proudest sat their dreams upon display
And God was in the corner still learning how to save
He was so well aware he was passed his due by date
He’d asked them to reconsider but they said they couldn’t wait
The devils got the best tunes and he sings them every day