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Christmas ... in Space!

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by	Apoxode
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This is a one page story I wrote for the event.

I did all the voices with oddcast TTS.
The kind of holiday story that makes you think …

Christmas … in Space! (a one page story by Darren Hembd)

Santa sat on his Elven sofa and shook his head at his wayward sons. They barely got along all year, and now that it was Christmas, they were the fakest angels that ever were. Such charades indeed.
“I’m grateful for my brother,” lied Santa Jr. He wanted to im-press his father whilst competing with his younger brother Atnas. “I can’t wait to make my brother happy,” lied Atnas, not to be outdone.
Santa was losing interest in his sons and checked his watch. “Oh, horsefeathers,” he swore. It was almost time to gas up the sleigh for his annual delivery. “You boys be good for Mama now.”
“We will,” lied the boys in unison. As soon as Santa closed the door, they ripped off their church clothes and began to fight like savage animals. Some elves snuck out to watch through the window.
Santa’s sleigh took off from Claus Airport at noon. Using the power of mathematics, he estimated he could deliver all the presents before any of the children could write nasty reviews about him.
“Santa was so late,” a child did not write. “Two stars.” Another child didn’t write: “I want my Christmas wishes back.” And also there was other stuff no one wrote because Santa delivered things quickly.
This Christmas was weird. He spent some time dodging satellites sure, that was nothing new. But what about the alien saucers? What was the deal with that? Then he checked his Alien Christmas list.
“Ah. Those are all the alien children who want stuff for free,” shook the head of Captain Santa, our Christmas hero. “Probably the only thing they have in common with kids if you think about it.”
Some of the alien saucers had red and green tinsel with twinkl-ing lights. That way, they could trick people into thinking they were worth talking to. Plus lighting, in case of any space snow.
“They’ll thank us if a blizzard comes,” sneered one of the aliens. He spoke in Alienese, but I translated it free of charge. I’m just that type of Writer. “Plus, people like annoying lights.”
Unfortunately, Santa’s alien detour made him one minute late for Little Tommy’s house. By the time Santa got there, there had been so much crying that Tommy’s parents had to use a Christmas mop.
“Just leave them by the door,” growled Tommy’s dad. “You’ve be-trayed us for the last time.” His son was so heartbroken, he didn’t even look at Santa whilst he wondered why he had been foresaken.
After two minutes of feeling bad, Santa remembered that he made millions of other kids happy, so he forgot all about Tommy. You could tell because he was whistling on the way back to the North Pole.
“I’m the king of presents,” sang Santa. As he touched down on the Claus Airport runway, he noticed that the cargo hold was one pre-sent heavier than last year. He forgot to give it to Tommy. Oh well.
Back at the Claus residence, his sons had completely destroyed the living room whilst they were covered with bruises and bandages. For fun, he made them fight for Tommy’s present and smiled inside.

The End.