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Kicking H

stellarartwars
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permalink   Fri, Oct 11, 2013 @ 6:35 PM
Anyone had experience with opiate addiction and kicking the stuff?

I’ve not used smack for about three months now, and haven’t used IV i.e. syringes for over ten years after having a (negative thankfully) HIV and Hep test.

But every time I try coming off methadone I drink like a fish and generally fall to pieces!

Weed tends to chill me out, problem is it’s very hard to get proper grass or hash rather than some GM triffid stuff that’s too strong for me, as I have schizophrenia and the high THC grass around these days makes me mental :(

I see a counsellor who is good- I’ve not got any worse in the last five years or so, but would love to be straight. My wife has successfully quit, which has been inspiring.

Problem for me is I just don’t feel comfortable sober. Because of prescription medication I take for my mental illness when I wake up I can’t enjoy feeling straight as it’s like drinking five pints or so the night before!

Last time I managed it was about five years ago. At that time my wife was very seriously ill yet not even smoking tobacco I managed to cope well, so I know the mental as well as the physical benefits of sobriety.

The following I’ve found are really good- Library, Church, Gospel and Classical Music, Swimming and Gym.

Any other ideas? I’d love to know others experiences and any advice people have to offer :)
My Free Mickey
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permalink   Wed, Jun 11, 2014 @ 9:07 AM
http://azarius.net/
They sell all kinds of seeds and herbs.
Maybe you can find something that suits you.
economix
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permalink   Fri, Jun 27, 2014 @ 9:17 AM
I notice you suggested classical music. There are plenty of contacts who seem unable to leave remix alone.
I swung back here looking for music to inspire people to get clean or avoid the stuff in the first place. Getting clean could be a good topic for a secret mixter event. Current users are well placed to sing about the flip side of escape.
There is a little here already - I would welcome any posted suggestions for anti-drug promotions.
 
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permalink   stellarartwars Sat, Jun 28, 2014 @ 11:39 AM
Thanks both of you for advice.

Something that’s a real problem at the moment in England is a mass media that seems intent on smashing self esteem, which whilst alone won’t make an addict, it leaves people more open to it.

Avoiding a lot of MSM has helped me rebuild my confidence, and I also frequently write for the far better local media, which instead of being all about money and looks is about real people doing real things. Gardening, hobbies, nature, local sport and so forth, they’re things for us- we can’t all be millionaire celebs :) It has sort of inspired me work-wise to encourage the real human element as opposed to the superficial and plastic. I think with addiction, getting involved in real things with real people is a huge help. I’d like to do some work in the community like meals on wheels, garden work for the elderly or something.

At least now I’m feeling at ease with myself, so drink and drugs is falling by the wayside as I need less of a crutch. I’ve also gained insight into the way my mind works and avoiding the danger signs.

My current business venture is about building a new “hub” for local musicians, especially those who have had head and emotional issues, as well as the unemployed. As many are on drugs or prescribed meds, I think we could create an active, mind-filling and sober environment to get people aways from the self-destruction scene.

Especially filling our lives at the moment is creating a local live and studio outfit linked into ccmixter, performing material from this site and so forth. Whilst it has been a fantastic experience working online, having a studio full of musicians and singers in person again adds a touch of real as opposed to virtual reality :)

We should have some material uploaded on here in a few weeks. It’s also been great to make the switch to Linux and learn a completely new environment with incredible potential- again it fills the mind where drugs would creep in.
 
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permalink   stellarartwars Mon, Jun 30, 2014 @ 1:27 AM
I think a possible anti-drug event here as you suggest, where we could share some of our experiences and create some inspiration. When I’ve fully recovered which I hope will be soon, I’d love to help others avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made.

In some ways it would be cool if the emphasis is put on very strict moderation of anything, whether beer, pot etc- there’s a lot of difference between an experience which can be positive i.e. social or mind opening and the sometimes horrific issues arising from addiction.

One person I’d advise anyone who uses drugs to listen to is Frank Zappa- his music is some of the most innovative, exciting and psychedelic of all, yet he was almost totally straight. It shows that you don’t need a chemically altered mind to explore higher states of consciousness and so forth. By contrast, drug use can make musicians relatively sloppy and even conservative as opposed to pushing new boundaries.
 
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permalink   panu Mon, Jun 30, 2014 @ 6:12 AM
Don’t want to jump in or jack your thread, but anyone who’s serious about recovering from addiction will have a hard time supporting an event celebrating “moderation”. As any counsellor worth his/her credentials will tell you substituting one crutch for another without addressing a very complex number of issues is a ‘self deception doomed to failure’ and relapse. jes’ sayin’… .
 
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permalink   stellarartwars Mon, Jun 30, 2014 @ 8:46 AM
You are of course right. For any type of addict, it has to be stop, full stop.

Yet we’re also having to address the issue of those- the young- who might already drink beer or smoke pot who need to be able to set a boundary and not go that step from a bit of fun to serious problem stuff.

This is where the authorities went seriously wrong here in England, getting heavy on the weekend clubber who would be straight the rest of the week. Whilst the drugs were just in the clubs, there was less problems, attempting to drive them out brought them into the general community where real problems started.

So I see two areas which those in music wishing to help need to address.

The first is as you say, for those who are or have been addicts to get and stay completely clean.

The second, which is overlooked, is not to appear killjoy to those having a bit of fun whose use is not a problem- what’s tended to happen when this has been the case is creating something for the disaffected to rebel against- which they may well do by taking more drugs or drink.

Thank you again for all contributing to this thread. Like it or not and for better or for worse, popular music and drug use- even if just a few beers- have traditionally gone together. So many lives of very talented people- Elvis, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse etc have been ruined and cut short by addiction, it’s something musicians as a community must work to find solutions to.
 
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permalink   economix Fri, Jul 11, 2014 @ 9:02 AM
CCmixter is pretty good at rebelling against the mainstream. In this case the mainstream advocates indulgence. http://ccmixter.org/files/g... advocates legalization of marijuana. There is great blues inspired by despair at the pointy end of addiction. One approach would be to sing about how awful is is to lie, cheat, steal, take risks, deal with devils and worse to satisfy an itch.The other approach is to sing about how life’s salad tastes better without the dressing. Love. Motorbikes. Ukulele. Kids. Friendship. Dance. Music. Addiction may be important to the sufferer but from the outside described as mundane as trainspotting. One clue I find it is easier to be harsh on a habit you don’t have. A forty year death by cirrhosis starts with a few beers. Kill the joy before the joy overdose. Coat it with sugar if you must.
There is an example that is funny and hides nothing on YouTube ” If I didn’t have a brain”.
 
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permalink   economix Mon, Jun 30, 2014 @ 8:37 AM
I’m with Panu there. The Pinnochio lesson. Self preservation at the cost of a phantom limb.
The swagger about indulgence and choice bluffs the unwary.
I suggest a positive focus on being real and grounded and free and clean.
I could churn out lyrics, there is plenty to sing about.
 
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permalink   stellarartwars Sun, Jul 13, 2014 @ 6:27 PM
Again, thank you for all your support and advice. I know I have to get completely clean and not swap one for another such as prescription medication or alcohol.

I’d like to here all the poetry and lyrics anyone has to offer about this.

To be honest, with me is a lot of the problem is I just don’t feel confortable sober. Funny thing is, I didn’t get into drugs till my 20s and actually had a really good life before I did.

I was talking about this today with my bandmates who’ve had similar issues- we’re planning a commercial comeback but it’s the case of as soon as any cash appears we’ve promptly caned the lot :) Again, I know for my own sake and more importantly my family and friends I’ve got to clean up my act. Young lads can fuck up their bodies and minds and get away with it, middle age blokes can’t. I’d probably put my life expectancy at present at less than five years unless I can find the will to get my shit together.

I’ve actually a lot to live for, a strong marriage, great friends and family and a great band. As You and Panu said, for the likes of me, moderation isn’t an option, it has to be full stop.

In the last few years, whilst I’ve battled with drugs, other aspects of my mental health have improved, which gives me hope.

When I’m finally clean (I know it is when not if) I would love to help others do the same. Several of the counsellors I’ve seen are ex-addicts.

A big problem in my life I think is lack of structure as I don’t work a 9-5, being a freelance session musician/producer and journalist I’ll often work for 30 hours and sleep for 10 etc. Another problem is coming to terms with all the turbulance in politics here and worldwide- for some like me I’m sensitive to that sort of thing even though I know in my heart of hearts there are things that I can’t have a say in and must accept.

Anyway, talking about this helps, and it has been a fantastic experience the love and creativity that I have found at ccmixter. Peace.
 
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permalink   economix Tue, Jul 15, 2014 @ 1:55 AM
Two inspirations
http://m.youtube.com/watch?...
http://m.youtube.com/watch?...
I will work on some lyrics
 
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permalink   economix Sun, Jul 27, 2014 @ 9:09 AM
FLY-FREE OINTMENT* (All rights waived)

Be your luncheon wet or dry
the road taken low or high
and your old man’s an ATM, or
down to the last coin
sure it’s all the same old racquet
the ice heads are a crack up
floatation toy or savior
some crutch will crave the flavour
there’s a bear trap in the pudding
start chewing off your arm

CHORUS
We know she’s an addict
and though you love her dearly
there’s another aspect
I think you should explore
How well do you know her?
her stars are under shadow
though she promise you the planet
There’s something she loves more

Shady corners, taking hints
dreamy dark illicit prince
giddy introspection
go track mark collecting
with hangover and stains
denial she’s ignoring
scratch and sniff subliminal
addiction is quite boring
her wagon band is criminal
with treason at the reins

*To the tune of an antiquarian Aussie advertising jingle at http://youtu.be/hVDzyvkV1R4
 
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permalink   stellarartwars Tue, Aug 5, 2014 @ 1:41 PM
I can related personally to those lyrics.

Well done, and I’ll likely be using this superb material.

Two things stand out. One is the line about the ATM, and if you’ve been a junkie you’ll be very familiar with the cash machine as you spend more time their than anywhere else.

The other one is about hurting your family, I came close to killing a dearly beloved relative whilst high (on LSD-laced cannabis) years ago.

Fortunately I stopped before injuring her, but being of advanced years Grandma was approaching dementia, and whilst she forgave me as in her own words, “it wasn’t me”, I still feel very bad about tainting her memories of her grandson.

Hurting oneself is one thing, hurting another (including relatives and friends if you die or get ill through drug use) is quite different.

I’ve spoke to a lot of friends on this subject, many who have battled drug problems themselves, and we all agree that being an addict makes one think in a very selfish way.

Thank you again for your support. I’m coming to the possibility that I may have to have a month in rehab, simply locked away from the possibility of using street drugs, prescription meds or booze, just to give me a kick start. My health insurance I believe covers this, so I’ll be looking into it. My wife has been hugely supportive, and has largely recovered from her own illness as to be able to live independently whilst I dry out.

Thank you once again for your support and ideas.
 
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permalink   stellarartwars Tue, Aug 5, 2014 @ 1:42 PM
I can related personally to those lyrics.

Well done, and I’ll likely be using this superb material.

Two things stand out. One is the line about the ATM, and if you’ve been a junkie you’ll be very familiar with the cash machine as you spend more time their than anywhere else.

The other one is about hurting your family, I came close to killing a dearly beloved relative whilst high (on LSD-laced cannabis) years ago.

Fortunately I stopped before injuring her, but being of advanced years Grandma was approaching dementia, and whilst she forgave me as in her own words, “it wasn’t me”, I still feel very bad about tainting her memories of her grandson.

Hurting oneself is one thing, hurting another (including relatives and friends if you die or get ill through drug use) is quite different.

I’ve spoke to a lot of friends on this subject, many who have battled drug problems themselves, and we all agree that being an addict makes one think in a very selfish way.

Thank you again for your support. I’m coming to the possibility that I may have to have a month in rehab, simply locked away from the possibility of using street drugs, prescription meds or booze, just to give me a kick start. My health insurance I believe covers this, so I’ll be looking into it. My wife has been hugely supportive, and has largely recovered from her own illness as to be able to live independently whilst I dry out.

Thank you once again for your support and ideas.
 
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permalink   stellarartwars Wed, Aug 6, 2014 @ 9:58 PM
have done a demo of this, check it out here http://ccmixter.org/files/s...
 
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permalink   economix Thu, Jul 31, 2014 @ 5:15 PM
Hearten Up (All rights waived)


Get a bike for Christmas
A shiny one with bells
Coz once you learn to ride it
You can think of nothing else

Hide it from your mother
Hide it from yourself
Too soon you take another
There’s nothing on the shelf

Don’t expect the substance
To reject your vein
Dose yourself in petrol
But stay away from flames

Falling down a highway
Losing on the game
No exit, servo, byway
Better lame than shame

Running in swim flippers
With scissors in hand
Denial is a treason
With it’s head in the sand

Never got no cash
Now as ripped as folk
Had to flush the stash
It all went up in smoke

Running on empty
The only way is hope
You meet some who got clean
And square away the dope
 
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permalink   Snowflake Sat, Aug 2, 2014 @ 6:24 PM
great lyrics. thanks for sharing.
 
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permalink   economix Mon, Aug 4, 2014 @ 12:53 AM
Mirror mirror on the wall, who shall sharest voice withal?
 
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permalink   economix Mon, Aug 4, 2014 @ 12:30 AM
Squeaky Record (Rights Waived)

I don’t need drugs
Don’t needle that scene
Stay away thugs
Things’re better clean

Dancing is the junk, you’re
Better off indeed
without bent acupuncture
Excitement is the need

Sharing good taste
not Indian givers
Scoring is a waste
That rots your livers

peaking on life
beats withdrawl pains
True friends rock
and love in my veins

I’m sitting pretty, not
Flushing down a stash
My pocket full of pity
bulging wads of cash
addseo1118
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permalink   Thu, May 14, 2015 @ 12:03 AM
I have learnt much about your experiences. Thanks for sharing the great information.
 
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permalink   Andrew Wainwright Fri, May 15, 2015 @ 2:59 AM
Quote: addseo1118I have learnt much about your experiences. Thanks for sharing the great information.

At the end of the day, we all need a crutch, I need medication as prescribed by real doctors, something to smooth me out as a businessman under a lot of stress and ensure I get some sleep. The big pharmaceutical companies keep changing the formulas of the drugs which grown naturally, bent politicians in their grasp make up the war on drugs (literally, imagine fighting a war with the chief commanders off their face on acid etc, it’s that stupid, the CIA funded Taliban fight to US Army assisted free Afghans who grow opium) I’m happy now to use only drugs prescribed by real doctors. Prescriptions are scripts as in acting or computer programming languages, stick to the script, and you lose the plot, yet we all have to have our own adjustments to make our lives personal, which could just mean caffeine, ciggies and alcohol, which all have negative effects on health. Also food contains additives which are drugs, and television is a drug too, controlled by the government who are usually corrupt.

Thanks to everyone here who has helped me (as stellarartwars) beat heroin addiction, especially Hamish’s superb lyrics. When telling the truth becomes a crime, we know we’re being run by criminals. Glad to be back on here after a much needed stay in rehab. Rehab is for quitters literally, changing bad habits, but don’t give up on life and become a robot.
 
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permalink   addseo1118 Fri, May 15, 2015 @ 10:03 PM
Thanks you again guy.
 
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permalink   Andrew Wainwright Thu, Sep 8, 2016 @ 4:33 AM
Quote: addseo1118I have learnt much about your experiences. Thanks for sharing the great information.

Thanks everyone for all their love. Am finally clean (enjoy the odd weed joint now and again, but that’s it) and best of all have rebuilt relationships with family and able to move on.

It’s like coming out of prison after twenty odd years, as in Economix’s lyrics, addiction is indeed very boring. Worse is the selfishness, and whilst I’ve never turned to crime, it abuses loved ones, and your mental health gets shot through disrupted sleep. At which stage awake merges with asleep and nightmares become real.

Some of the material posted by the stellarartwars account in early 2015 was done under a full on mental breakdown, and those interested in psychiatric issues might find research value in the themes discussed.

Once again, thanks for all the advice. It really is all or nothing. I’m having a go at giving up tobacco smoking (and thus a total cessation of pot) in the next few months, now the heavy stuff and booze has gone.
 
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permalink   SackJo22 Fri, Sep 9, 2016 @ 10:58 AM
Good for you Andy . I hope you continue to find strength and support to continue your journey towards health and harmony. Peace.