It’s alright, I see the concept you’re going for but I don’t think you pull it off like you’d like to. when the organs take the fill I’m expecting a snare or bass fill of some sort. Not much of a melody either. The chorus doesn’t change much from the vocals, kinda monotonous. It’s okay though, it’s a really cool concept, and it’s mixed really well. Everything fits well, and the treatment you did to the vocals is cool.

Overall, good job but keep trying.