There’s a really, really good track in here. RIght now the vocals are hidden way below the surface - perhaps by intent - but the result is that you can barely hear the individual words.

I very much like the core idea though - there’s something here with a bit of tweaking.

Nice eastern feel to the gentle melody. The percussion choices are good. Perhaps the percussion could have been made a bit more dynamic so that the mix had a bit more “zing”, without losing the chill/trip hop vibe. The vocals and your melody blend in a pleasing and unexpected way.
I like the strings-ish pad, which works well. I might have been tempted to make the stringsish sound almost a wall of sounds, but perhaps your choice is better.
The ending seems a bit abrupt.

I like this one. It’s a really creative approach to the lyric.