That’s a lot of reality/anxiety/sadness. 173 applications to no avail? Wow.

Your last line reminded me of a little scene I passed on the street the other day. A mother and two children. One of the kids was saying, “but it isn’t fair” to which the mother replied with sweetness and patience, “that’s right dear, nothing’s fair for anyone”. So - who says life is fair? Apparently no one anymore.

Working for yourself is hard. I don’t understand how it is that people can take work off you but then not pay reasonably for it. I’m a lawyer so you’d think I was crazy wealthy but that is not the case at all. Often my clients have walked after not paying me and I have had to explain to bill collectors why I can’t pay.

I hope you find some relief some way, whether in finding new clients, the job that pops up after the total lack of response to the applications, or even the kindness of those to whom you owe some money to let you slide for a bit while you figure everything out.

I wish I had the skills to remix this, but it deserves something other than my airy fairy treatments. It is very well done and rings true. Look after yourself, and please reach out to others for emotional support.